Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican:
- You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
- You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
- You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
- You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
- You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
- You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
- You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
- You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
- You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.
- You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
- You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
- You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
- You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
- You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
- You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
- You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
- You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
- You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.
We'll miss you Ann... I remember being in 1st or 2nd grade when Ann Richards was running for Governor. I can't really remember who I was wanting to win, but all the other guys in my classes wanted Clayton Williams to win for no other reason than he was a guy and Ann Richards was a girl. So, being the little conformist that I was, I said I was pulling for Williams too, even though it didn't sit quite right with me. I remember Williams won the mock election we had in our elementary school by a pretty large magin...
I think we need more people like Ann Richards in politics... It keeps it interesting. Kinky anyone?